party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
