More tranny stories later!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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