that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
