I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
