i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
