My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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