watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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