Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
