I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
