I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
