Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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