Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize