She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
