exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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