I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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