he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
