Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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