I think i peed on brittanys purse
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
