i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
