Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
