I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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