I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
