I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
