Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
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Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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