Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
