So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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