if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize