im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
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