I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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