i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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