I'm going to rape someone's good day.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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