Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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