its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
