Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
