shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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