I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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