I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
