4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
