See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
