we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He? As in you personified your dick?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
