i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
