No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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