I think I died a long time ago.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
