You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
