I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
