Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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