I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
