i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
