Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize