Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
