Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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