I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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