How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
