thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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