Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
