i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
