i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
