Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
do nipples grow back?
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