Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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