I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
