my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
