well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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