bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
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