Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
40s are totally the cure
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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