Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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