Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Girls should come with a carfax report
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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