What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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