Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
