She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
